Who am I, like a flickering shimmer?!
I see things, but I do not stick my nose into others’ affairs.
I am present, yet far away.
I am here, but constantly moving around.
I am a shimmer in time, without shoes.
Everything rises and falls, and the greatest mistake
on my part would be to remain rigid.
I am emptiness, yet completely filled.
As I walk around, I see that my mind is manipulated.
I feel the play of emotions that stunts my awareness.
I understand and let it be, for I know
that it is temporary, like all of us, which is eternal.
I cannot name this feeling; I can only feel and be.
Is that the greatest art – to be?!
I am capable of creating because I have that ability.
I do not stiffen or harden but flow like water.
Everything within me exists to create.
Every moment, regardless of its length, we call time.
I feel connection and complete freedom.
I feel peace and love because I am peace and love.
I give support so that everyone may give.
I am untouched and pure; I am the center, my own center.
I bless everyone. Do I have the right to do so?
I don’t know, but I have the ability, and I use it.
The story of the poem
From the end of 2008 until 2015, I spent roughly 7 years on self-education. I read simpler psychology books and explored deeper spiritual knowledge, including various religious and sacred texts. On April 5th, 2015, I was reading about the Emerald Tablets, which are categorized among esoteric knowledge. All of this seemed new and exciting, and while studying these texts, I felt inspired.
That weekend, I had just visited the countryside, and upon returning to the city, while on trolley number 6 (a former trolley line between the center of Tallinn and the Haabersti district), I was struck by a feeling that eventually expressed itself in the poem written above. Here, all the words are original, just as they came to me. Nothing has been changed, added, or taken away. Perhaps you have also experienced that, in a moment of inspiration, you are not the creator but rather given the relevant knowledge. In this case, I feel like I was more of a catcher and writer of the poem than its author.
Probably every person has, at least once in their life, asked themselves the question, “Who am I?” The answers can vary widely, ranging from naming one’s professions and roles to experiencing pure awareness and silence. In any case, I hope this poem touches you as well.